My Father Loved My Mother – Examples We Can Draw From Today!

My Father Loved My Mother – Examples We Can Draw From Today!

What a wonderful statement!  I ran across an envelope that my father had written comments on about his marriage over the years.  My mother and father were married in 1943, during World War II.  Dad was stationed at the Presidio in San Francisco, and Mom was working in that city as well.  They met on a blind date, fell in love and were married.  They both worked hard, and raised their family, and went through some rough times and some good times.  And lived happily ever after until Dad passed away in 1977.  My mother was so lucky to have a man who would feel free to express to her verbally as well as in action, his decided love for her.

On the envelope – a brown one from the War Department which contains their Certificate of Marriage –  he wrote a comment about their marriage for most of the years they were married.  I’ll let the words he wrote speak for themselves:

1944 – WONDERFUL!

1946 – Super Marvelous!

1947 – Still WONDERFUL!

1949 – Words fail me – it couldn’t be more wonderful!

1950 – What can I say?  I’m in love!!!

1951 – More wonderful than EVER!

1952 – Can’t get any more wonderful – but it does!!!

1953 – Beautiful – Beautiful – Wonderful & Marvelous.  These words are so inadequate to express my deep love.

1955 – I’m running out of words – but I love it!

1960 – Still most wonderful, wonderful!!!

1961 – One wish – that all men could have such a wonderful wife and such a wonderful marriage!

1964 – How – How can love be so wonderfully satisfactory and lovely!

1966 – More, More and More Wonderful!

1969 – I wish that all people in the world could share my happiness and love.

1970 – More wonderful than I deserve!

1971 – Beautiful love!!!

1972 – Love! Love! Love!

1973 – Running out of space but never out of love.  Our marriage is SO beautiful!!!

1974 – I’m in love!

1976 – I love my Betty so deeply and devotedly!  She is marvelous!

Dad had contracted cancer several years before his last entry on the envelope, yet he never gave up his positive attitude, loving Mom and his family.  It was apparent to my brother and myself throughout our growing up years, and I learned so much from him.

How life has changed since those days of a good marriage because they worked at it, through good times and rough times.  Dad had a very rough childhood, raised by a single mom and quitting school at age 14 to go to work on a boat on the lakes near Chicago.  He was later mistreated by his stepdad.  He had never gone to church, but insisted that we kids went every Sunday with Mom.  Near the end of his life, he accepted Christ into his heart.  He suffered greatly – they didn’t have hospice in those days, so Mom cared for him until he passed.  He never complained, he always encouraged, he sacrificed to keep food and shelter for his family, and he loved. Oh, how he loved.  What a role model and an example in so many ways!

Since then, Mom passed into Heaven, so there would be a grand reunion – sharing eternity with the greatest Love of all – our Lord Jesus Christ.

A Little Word of Encouragement

A Little Word of Encouragement

O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. Ps 34:8

What an exciting time when we accept Christ in our lives. When we put away the old things and become a new creation in Him. When we accept Christ, when we are baptized and allow ourselves to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit. When we allow ourselves to follow His word and His will in our lives. When everything is fresh and new!

Then we begin to share with the people around us. Those who ‘know’ us from ‘before’ can be a challenge to our new spiritual growth. We want them to SEE the new us! However, all they can see is the old us. Especially the ones we hung out with and know all the secrets from our past. They want to use it against us. They want to bring us down. Its not even that they WANT to do it, it’s like they are compelled to do it. The devil wants to steal our joy and he will do it using those closest to us if he can.

We have to have time to build up who we are in Christ. We need time to learn His word, to saturate ourselves in His presence with prayer and praise. We need to move away from ‘the old’ and into the new. This can be a very difficult transition. Sometimes this means that we have to leave our old friends and find new ones – to surround ourselves with a body of believers – in order for us to be built up so that we can stand firm.

We need to remember that not all of our old family and friends will welcome us with open arms.  John 4:44 tells us ‘a prophet is not welcome in his own home town.’ He gave us a warning that we might face people turning away from us when we proclaim the Good News. Yet, this doesn’t mean we can’t witness or shouldn’t witness to those people. It doesn’t mean we can’t plant a seed – through our actions – that show we truly have changed.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

This can be a very difficult journey. We have to remember we weren’t promised that WE would be the ones to lead our family to salvation – in some cases those family members may be saved and have been praying for us for a very long time. We are told that ‘unless the Lord builds the House then the laborers labor in vain’. We need to seek God’s will and direction. We need to produce the fruits of the spirit and let them manifest in our lives. We need to be a light set upon a hill. We need to be willing to be a servant and humble ourselves. We need to remember that God is always with us.

Isaiah 41:10-13  Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

No matter where you are in your walk with God. No matter where you find yourselves. No matter how high the mountain or how low the valley – Always remember that God will not leave you nor forsake you.

All we have to do is seek Him and we will find Him.

It is such a small thing, to seek, yet there are times when we choose not to. We don’t want to humble ourselves, we don’t want to pray or ask, we don’t want Him to find us. We don’t want to recognize that even after we accept Christ we will stumble and fall. We need to recognize that everything in life takes time and work. Every relationship we have requires that we put something in – and only by

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5
working are we able to build up something that will last.

One great thing about our relationship with Christ is that the work we put helps us. It helps us become strong in the spirit and the knowledge of God’s word. We know what He has done for others He will do for us – but if we don’t know WHAT He has done for others then we haven’t even begun to understand what He can do for us.

He reached into the darkness and found me. He pulled me out of the fire and nestled me safely under His wings. He protected me when no one else was there to protect me – not just from others but from myself. He holds me constantly in His love and care. He has bore witness to my comings and goings. He has picked me up when I fell down. He has heard my voice when I called upon Him. What a loving, wonderful God we serve.

You know what He has done for you – you may have shared your testimony with someone. You have probably heard the testimony of others. My friend, this is only the tip of the iceberg to what God is capable of and wants for our lives. We need to continually submit to His will. Our nature will have us stumbling and falling; without the grace of God we would not have come as far as we have.

Even after salvation, you will stumble and fall. You may unintentionally cause your brother to trip as well. We need to remember that this is not something God holds against us – as a matter of fact, He has given us a way to move forward – forgiveness; asking for it and giving it.

Psalms 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

What a wonderful God we serve!

For You I Am Praying – The Power of Intercessory Prayer

For You I Am Praying – The Power of Intercessory Prayer

Intercessory Prayer is the opportunity to pray for others. It is when we act as a mediator when we go before the throne of God.  Whether we are praying for someone who is sick, or going out to a job interview, or for someone who doesn’t know the Lord – the reasons are varied. It’s when we come before the throne of God seeking intercession on the behalf of another. Powerful things can happen.

Intercession is defined as the action of intervening [come between so as to prevent or alter a result or course of events] on behalf of another.  When we intercede, we are following the example of Christ, who sits on the right hand of the Father, and the Holy Spirit, who intercede for us.

Most of the time, we will hear about parents or family members, who are praying for the salvation of a loved one. It can be difficult for a believer to accept that their family member doesn’t follow the same belief system they have. Whether it is out of sheer rebellion or the family coming to know Christ later in life, the reasons can be multifaceted.

There are also the prayers for the success of individuals, during meetings, speeches, political races, and more. Prayers for struggling business, communities, and families who have suffered loss. Sick family members or community members who are under attack. There are so many reasons for this type of prayer.

Prayer is a powerful communication with God.

Intercessory prayer is the same communication on the behalf of others. Yet, why aren’t we praying?

We know the devil comes to ‘steal, kill and destroy.’ Most of the time we think of this as just destroying the physical into which the spiritual will also be affected. If you deprive someone of “things” or “possessions,” they may get depressed.

If you remove close family members, friends or loved ones, the difficulty to overcome grief can be crippling. When these things happen, our first response is generally NOT prayer. Many people no longer react by praying. Instead, we allow ourselves to be drawn down the rabbit hole.

This is where intercession becomes an incredibly important tool. Not only are we supporting our friends and family, by being there for them physically, we are also supporting their spiritual nature as well. Giving strength in the spirit to help themover come the physical.

We are living in a world that seemingly has turned away from God

By the actions of those in the world around us, the worship of ‘Gaia’ – whom they call ‘mother earth’ is prevalent. There have been several times throughout history where the masses have turned away from God and toward other things. Whether it is money, power, oppression, or the ideal of what will get them there.

Historically, the church hasn’t helped in these matters. The wars done ‘in the name of God’ where people were killed because they refused to be forced to give up their own beliefs. The Monarchs, who claimed godhood for themselves, and forced their people to have the same beliefs or die. The Inquisition. These are some of the things that we know, throughout history, have been done in the name of religion – forcing true believers into hiding in order to survive.

Even in today’s society, the word “Christian” often receives a negative connotation. Add to this, the fact that over the last year, it became (in essence) ‘illegal’ to congregate, taking away religious freedoms under the guise of ‘public safety’; meanwhile strip clubs and other such establishments were allowed to remain open.

Though some churches did manage to remain steadfast and open to their congregation through various means, the response was small in comparison to those who were willing to stay below the radar in ‘order to survive’. Have we so lost faith in our God?

Even for times such as these, God gave us His word to guide us:

2 Chronicles 7:14

14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I have mentioned this passage several times in the last few months as a reminder. We are called to prayer. We are called to intercede on the behalf of not only our churches, our communities, but our country.

We are called to stand fast. Be unmovable. We are called to PRAY. Everyone can pray. Prayer doesn’t discriminate. Prayer doesn’t have an outline. Prayer doesn’t require a calling. Prayer is our communication with an omnipotent God. Prayer can move mountains. Prayer can change communities. Prayer can change governments. Prayer can HEAL OUR LANDS.

There is nothing in this world quite as effective as prayer

One of the great things about prayer is that it can be done anytime, anywhere, in front of anyone. Prayer doesn’t have to be spoken out loud – like when Hannah prayed for a child. Her lips were moving but no words were heard. You don’t even have to move your lips. You can just pray from the heart inside of yourself.

Prayer will help you feel better. It will help you find solace and guidance. It will give you strength. It can change the world. No one can stop you from praying. Well, except you. You can stop it from happening by not doing it.

If we believe God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. If we believe that He keeps His promises. If we believe His Word never changes. If we believe He is our Rock. If we believe He will keep us under His wings of protection. If we believe He will send His angels before us. Then why can’t we believe in the power of prayer? There is no real reason.

The world is filled with fear. Fear that holds us in place. That locks down not only our feet but our hearts. Overcoming and/or facing our fears can bring people to tears. The idea can be daunting and overwhelming. This is why psychiatrists will tell people to ‘face their fear’. Once it is faced (and it may take multiple times), the fear will lose its power.

When someone has a fear of spiders, they will tell you to start with little ones first. If you can deal with these teeny, tiny spiders, you have made a baby step forward. Then gradually these baby steps, lead to full on strides, where you overcome the fear of bigger spiders – like tarantulas. There is a difference between being fearful of something and respecting it. In other words, you may overcome the fear of spiders, but still have a healthy respect that a black widow or recluse has a bite that could kill you.

There are many dangers in the world in which we live. Our fears can also be overcome in another way. We can “cast all our cares” on the Lord. We can learn to lay these fears at his feet. We need to recognize that not all fear is physically induced. Remember, we are both a physical being AND a spiritual one. Some of the fear we need to fight is in the spiritual realm. Some of it has to be overcome with prayer. It is the one thing that the enemy doesn’t want us doing.

The benefits of prayer are multifold

When you pray, things happen. I remember reading Frank Peretti’s book, This Present Darkness (and Piercing the Darkness). Even though this is a fictional novel, one of the things it did for me, was bring to light an idea about angels. That when we prayer, we give strength to the angels to fight battles in the spiritual realm.

Imagine this: an angel leaning against the wall, its head bowed, its wings folded… waiting. Now, imagine when you pray, you infuse that angel with heavenly power. His head pops up, his wings spread out, the light surrounding him shines brightly. The sword at his side glows brilliantly. He takes flight on a mission, set in motion, by your prayer. Wow!

Can you see it? The power of YOUR prayer. What is the mission? What did you prayer for? Was it for someone who needs guidance? Was it for the leaders of your community? Was it for a sick friend? Was it for yourself?

The thing is, there is no wrong way to pray. Prayer has power. Words have power. The Bible has numerous passages where it mentions the power of your words. Why it is so important how you speak. Proverbs 15:4 “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

Make Prayer a Part of Your Daily Life

I would just like to encourage you to make prayer a part of your life. Whether you pray for yourself, things in your life or others, prayer is a gift given to us. We should use it. Not just to build up our faith. Not just to support ourselves and others. We should pray to draw ourselves closer to God.

Prayer is ultimately our ability to communicate with God. We pray, “in Jesus’ Name” as He is always interceding on our behalf.  Know that if Christ, who died for us, is willingly, lovingly interceding for us, then we can do it for others.

Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

 

Love is a Gift Freely Given in Tangible and Intangible Ways

Love is a Gift Freely Given in Tangible and Intangible Ways

When you mention love, there are two things that generally come to mind: God’s love and romantic love. Love is a word that is often bandied about without much thought. It is something we are taught to say. “I love you.” Often without giving it much thought or even putting emotion behind our automated responses, we say “I love you” – “I love you too”.

It is important to take time to think about and understand not just the concept of love but the depth. God gave His ONLY BEGOTTEN SON because He Loves Us. He wanted to bring us (you and me) back to Him. God gave the ultimate sacrifice to us, for us, out of love.

Love is the glue that binds

There are so many articles, sayings, mentions of love –  yet the practice of love is falling short. Instead of reaching out, in love, with an open mind and heart; people are standing on the sidewalks watching humanity go by and making judgements. Instead of encouraging resolution and discussions of our differences; people are throwing rotten fruit.

When we look in the news we see riots, dissension, racism and reverse racism, in full bloom. Things that will tear not only a family, but a nation, apart. When we look to the Bible for guidance, we see Paul saying, “I become all things to all people.” He goes to explain why he does this.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23

19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Does this mean that we revel in our diversity as a means to condemn others? No. It means that we open our hearts and minds to understand how others think so that we can sway them toward Christ. We show them LOVE. We show them compassion. We open a dialogue that allows each person to speak their mind and come to the table. We don’t cast them out because of these things. We don’t force feed them our beliefs.

Storge Love is familial love

It is the love of parents and children. The love of siblings. It is the love shared with those who have a commonality that binds them together. This is brotherly love. It seems to be an easier love than the one we really need to “love thy neighbor as thyself”. This type of love is difficult for multiple reasons. First, we might not like our neighbor. The second is that we might not like ourselves.

Fortunately, learning to love ourselves and our neighbor isn’t dependent on liking anyone. We can ‘love the sinner and hate the sin’. This doesn’t just apply to ‘others;’ it also applies to us. WE are all sinners. We have all sinned. We need learn to love ourselves (the sinner) and hate our actions (the sin). Then we need to take that seemingly huge step –  yet it really isn’t that vast –  and forgive ourselves for the sin. (Move out of it and on to God’s path.)

We weren’t called into a place of judgement

“Judge not lest you be judged.” “Let him who is without SIN throw the first stone.” Why are these statements even mentioned? I think it is that sometimes it is easy to distance ourselves from what we are and what we were. We accept Christ into our lives and then think that we are without stain. We’ve accepted the call to be washed ‘whiter than snow’. Psalm 51:7-12 Then there is another step, “create in me a CLEAN heart and renew a right spirit within me.”

We are both a physical AND spiritual creation. Our physical nature is the one we fight with. Our spiritual nature is the one we need to learn to lean and rely upon. In other words, being ‘washed’ is something that is done to the physical. We use baptism as a representation of this. We are being ‘reborn’ in a physical way to give our spiritual man a fresh start. This doesn’t mean we will be able to change who we are instantly.

This is God’s love

He has offered us a way to Him. Yet, we still ‘fall short’ along the path. That is why we have the gift of the Holy Spirit. We also have the gift of prayer – that which allows us to go before our Father and ask for guidance. To ask for strength to help us to move forward in our lives, to love those with whom we don’t agree, and to learn to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving means giving up the emotions that are entangling us. We give up how we feel; angry, bitter, resentful, and allow ourselves to move forward.

Sometimes these emotions are what cause us to react negatively in a situation. We lose our cool. We lose control of our feelings. We let them take us over. That is okay, because we aren’t perfect. We will fall short. However, this is an opportunity, to pick ourselves up to learn to react out of love. This isn’t an easy thing. It is much simpler to type the words here than to act on them. It takes lots of practice, trials, failure and opportunities to grow.

Love is the guidepost we need to learn to use

We need to learn to NOT react out of hate or judgement. We need to learn how to NOT criticize someone within the first 30 seconds of meeting them. We need to open our minds and hearts to the possibility of getting to know an incredible person who may be wrapped in something we don’t like or deem unworthy based on how they look. Most of the time, the outside of the book isn’t a reflection of what is on the inside. If we don’t give that a chance then we may miss some great opportunities. Remember, sometimes people come into our lives for a short season to help us to grow.

Sometimes you may be there to plant the seed. Sometimes you may be there to water it. Sometimes you may be there to reap the harvest. How can you plant a seed if you are unwilling to till the soil to see what is beneath? To see if the ground is good or rocky? We weren’t called to hate. We were called to love. “For God So LOVED the world…” What example will you use? The one you see emulated in the media and in social media? Or will you allow yourself to be open to the truth. That not everything we see or hear is what is real.

God called us to love

He has given us a great example of how to love. He has given us reminders of what it is to love. He left us not only His written Word but also the Holy Spirit which dwells in us. He allows us to come to Him in prayer; to seek His guidance. We can cast all our cares on Him. We may not understand what is going on. We may not know where the path leads. We do know Who has laid our path before us. We need to continue to trust in that. We need to continue to have Faith. We need to continue to show love and be that light.

My prayer for you today is to continue to seek God in these troubling times. To open your hearts and minds to be allowed to be used in a way that will help stem the tide. That that destruction happening around us doesn’t define us. It took one person to start a movement to take prayer from the schools. One person can do a lot.

Pray. Laugh. Have Faith. Love.

Our Foundation of Love Between Friends and Family is Built on 1000’s of Experiences

Our Foundation of Love Between Friends and Family is Built on 1000’s of Experiences

The Greek definition of Philia is close friendship or brotherly love. In English that equates to the love between siblings, best friends, close friends, confidants and/or parental love.

As any sibling may readily admit, while we don’t always like our sibling, we do love them. We may fight with them but we will also defend them until the end. You may be on opposite ends of the spectrum 90% of the time, but the shared 10% is all a sibling needs to justify their unity. (Truth be known we can do it with less.)

Friendship  Love

There are so many phrases we use when it comes to close friends. (“Brother from another Mother” just being one.) Proverbs 18:24 refers to ‘a friend who sticks closer than a brother’. Most people will equate their best friend as being their sibling; sharing secrets, having each other’s back, and being there in both good and tough times. It is this shared history that brings us even closer together through the years. It is easy to see why sometimes people have chosen their friends over their family. (Although this isn’t a new development; we just have to look to the Bible to see how often siblings chose something over their brother; generally out of jealousy.)

The love of family is and always has been under attack. The enemy is doing his job too well; coming to steal, kill and destroy. We see it almost every day in the news, with each bad report, about what is happening in the world around us. Children turning against parents or parents turning against their children to fateful ends – with one ending in the grave and the other in prison. Sometimes, the guilty seemingly go unpunished for their actions. The family continues to be under constant spiritual attack. We are seeing the harvest from seeds planted long ago.

Love Conquers All

Even with all these things that are discouraging and mortifying, love can withstand the attacks. Children will often be bound together not only by self preservation but by the protective instincts that tend to rise up in order to keep their sibling(s) safe. These shared experiences, and others like them, pull them together. However, they may also push them apart as they get older; while trying not to remember their shared history.

We need to remember that there is good in the world and stop focusing solely on the bad.  Maintaining a positive outlook is a choice; sometimes it is a very difficult one not only to make but continue to choose to maintain. When the world is throwing itself against us, like a high wind that blows, knocking off not just the leaves from the trees but everything else in its path, it can be virtually impossible to stand up against. When we have all this negative being thrown at us, it is difficult to maintain a positive disposition. It is easy to forget who we are and to challenge our beliefs. Especially, when “so called” friends/acquaintances begin to add to our own doubts.

FamilyWhen we can’t remind ourselves, as we are down, it is our friends and family who help to refresh our memory. The people who have weathered so many storms with us, who understand our true character, and help us to remember who we are. They bring to mind what we are capable; they know us almost as well as we know ourselves. (In some cases they may know us better than we know ourselves.) These are our tried and true friends and our support system, the people we should trust over people we barely know.

It is easy to say, trust in God, yet sometimes we need someone we rely on to come along to remind us that we are capable of remaining strong in the face of adversity. It is one of the reasons that the Bible tells us to gather together to encourage one another. (Hebrews 10:25) This encouragement is meant to help us to stand firm during adversity.

This is an opportunity to build each other up. It’s why going out to coffee or lunch is so important. It gives us a chance to vent to someone we know we can say anything to without (hopefully too much) judgement. (I would like to believe with no judgment. Sometimes it is hard to tamp down the flesh and only respond out of love.) 

Be The Friend You Want Others To Be

I think that the saying is more true today than ever before. Remember, our job as a friend is to be there, to be silent while we listen, to encourage, to offer sage advise when required, to not make judgements, to help find resolutions and stand strong WITH our friends and family. Get together and support each other. Be a sounding board. Keep your mouth closed to others about what your friend says. Remember it is THEIR story to tell. They get to CHOOSE who hears it. Not you. Being a true friend means you don’t gossip about them behind their back. That the way you speak about them to others is what you would say if they were standing right next to you.

True friendship is a prized jewel. It is something that is rare and can be difficult to find. It is something that lasts through the years. It weathers storms. It weathers distance, changes in relationships, children, as well as time. It will hold up regardless of if you speak to each other every day or go years without saying a word. When you come back together it is as if you had never been apart. I am blessed to have some friendships like this. I am honored to know there are people I can call on any time and they will be there for me. I am blessed to know that what I tell them goes no farther than their ears.

For you this may be your spouse, your sibling, your best friend. If you have someone who is a true friend, be thankful. If you don’t have anyone in your life, know that they are out there; it may take time to find them but they are out  there. Remember, you reap what you sow. Start by being the friend you want to someone else. There have been times in my life when I saw someone and before I had even spoken to them I KNEW they were going to be my friend. Guess what? They are not only my friends but some of my closest ones. God will reveal to you the people you should have in your life.

Just remember that people come into your life for a season. Sometimes a season may be a few days or a few weeks, other times, that season is a lifetime.

 

 

Contemplating the Celebration of Romantic Love as February 14th Approaches

Contemplating the Celebration of Romantic Love as February 14th Approaches

In another couple of days, the celebration of Valentine’s will be upon us. It’s a special day, extolled as a celebration for couples in love –  a day their single friends bemoan their ‘alone’ status. Some singles use the time to celebrate as well, however, either alone or with their other single friends.

Having come into existence sometime during the 5th century as a Roman celebration for the coming of Spring, which included fertility rites and pairing of women with men via a lottery, over time, it has morphed  into the holiday we know now, making February 14th one of the most common wedding days of the year throughout the world.

Valentines Day is a Celebration of Eros Love or Is It?

  1. Eros – Sensual or Romantic Love. This is the type of love shared between two people. Sexual desire, physical attraction and physical love. 

In today’s society, we tend to shy away from the discussion of erotic love. The word erotic is associated with Eros, as it is a product of the word itself. Eros defined: Eros (Ancient Greek: “love” or “desire”) is a concept in ancient Greek philosophy referring to sensual or passionate love, from which the term erotic is derived. Sometimes, the word erotic is used in a negative or worldly connotation, but this doesn’t mean the word is bad.  Indeed, Eros is a love to be celebrated.  One of the best examples of this type of love can be found in the Song of Solomon, which depicts the celebration of love between a bride and her groom.

Solomon’s Song of Songs.

She[a]

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the young women love you!
Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Friends

We rejoice and delight in you[b];
we will praise your love more than wine.

She

How right they are to adore you!

Dark am I, yet lovely,
daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
like the tent curtains of Solomon.[c]
Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun.
My mother’s sons were angry with me
and made me take care of the vineyards;
my own vineyard I had to neglect.
Tell me, you whom I love,
where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
beside the flocks of your friends?

Friends

If you do not know, most beautiful of women,
follow the tracks of the sheep
and graze your young goats
by the tents of the shepherds.

He

I liken you, my darling, to a mare
among Pharaoh’s chariot horses.
10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
your neck with strings of jewels.
11 We will make you earrings of gold,
studded with silver.

She

12 While the king was at his table,
my perfume spread its fragrance.
13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
from the vineyards of En Gedi.

He

15 How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves.

She

16 How handsome you are, my beloved!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant.

He

17 The beams of our house are cedars;
our rafters are firs.

There is No Shame in Sensual, Physical Love

We are taught to celebrate romantic love. Yet there is an underlining ideal that physical love is shameful and should be hidden. However, as we see in the Song of Solomon, there is no shame in the sensual, physical love shared between spouses. There should be no shame in physical displays of affection; kissing, hand holding, hugging. We need to stop feeling like there is something wrong with these things. We should not withhold our physical affections because of what other people think.

This type of thought and behavior is a lot like the belief that Christians should be poor. The Bible doesn’t tell us we need to be poor; it tells us not to worship money, which is NOT the same thing. We don’t need to withhold our affection. We need to be, under the right circumstances, an example of the proper way to love.

As I shared in my previous post, there are different types of love that God has blessed us to be able to share. They are unique to the type of love we give. We work toward having agape love, the unconditional love of God, so we can be a light that points toward Him. We share Eros love with our spouse that celebrates the love between two people. Philia love is what we share with our best friends and family members.  Finally, there is Storge love, shared with everyone else in an empathetic (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another) way. God has blessed us with the ability to pour out our love on others and as we do our tanks continually fill up.

More Than A Lover

How great is it to be filled with an over-flowing love toward our spouse. The life partner God has given us. We must remember it is impossible to be everything to one person (only God can fully complete a person). We need to have friends, family and a life both together yet separate from our partner. We grow stronger by remaining unique individuals who build each other up and strengthen each other. (I think Kahlil Gibran describes this wonderfully in his Two Sides of Love – see below.)

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Two people are strengthened by the physical love that binds them together. We put our trust in each other; they are our best-friend, our sounding board, our lover, our confidante. They don’t need to share all our hobbies and views. They support us when we are weak. They have our back in times of adversity. They give us wise council –  all from a place of love. 

When you have a partner who celebrates and delights in the Lord, it is a blessing, as you share not just Eros, the physical love, but agape – the unconditional love. You want the best for that person. When you hear the term that God is love, He isn’t just one type of love, He is all encompassing love. He fully loves us. He wants the best for us. He leads us and guides us with His grace and wisdom. God created Eve for Adam so he wouldn’t be alone. God gave a partner to him so they would share foundational truths, and when they were cast from the Garden of Eden, they still had each other to share the new burdens that were placed on them due to their disobedience. Mark 10:9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Being Single on Valentine’s Day Just Gives You a Chance to Celebrate Loving Yourself

Yet, even though we have set aside this ‘holiday’ for couples, it is important to consider that it has become a celebration of love. Transformed from its beginnings as  the spring celebration of fertility and all that came with it, we now mark it as a day to celebrate those we love. This means, if you are single, you should celebrate the love you have for yourself. The love you have for your Creator. You should spoil yourself and know that where you are is where God wants you to be. Being alone doesn’t make you less on this day. You are as special as the couples who are celebrating their love; you are just celebrating in a different way.

We don’t follow the rules of man, we acknowledge them. Even the Bible says to pay Caesar what is due to Caesar and give God what belongs to God. So, while the world may say that the 14th is meant for couples, we can acknowledge and agree that it is a day of love. Celebrate love.