Have you ever been in a quandry about what step to take in your life?  To stay in school or to leave?  To look for a different job because you think your employer’s not treating you right?  To continue in a relationship, whether it’s with a “friend” or a “romance?”  To stay at your present location or move somewhere else?

Here are some steps that have worked for me – and perhaps they will for you, too!

A T-Sheet. 

This is something my mother taught me years ago.  I don’t always do it, but when I do, it sure helps to clarify what I should do.  Take a piece of paper (yes, an old-fashioned piece of paper), and draw a big “T”.  On one side of the “T”, write “pros”; on the other “cons”.  Now, write down one of the directions forward you are considering.

Pros and cons of staying in a particular job was always a big one for me, to help determine whether I should stay or seek employment elsewhere, and that’s the example I will use here.

Start asking and answering questions of yourself, in writing.

Do I like the work?  Am I being paid fairly for the job I am doing?  Is my employer living up to the agreement they made with me?  Is there an area for growth?  Am I learning?  Am I making a living wage? (One that covers my current lifestyle, without my going into debt.) Any other issues – like personality clashes, etc.?

If most of these are positive answers, but there are areas that need improvement, like not being paid enough to make a living, what are some solutions if I decide I like the job and would like to stay as my preferred answer?  This is where communication with the boss comes in – and is probably the toughest area in life.

Once a decision about the direction is made, then the action part kicks in.

Fear plays a big factor here.  The question is – how to approach your boss for an increase in pay?  How to talk to management about meeting agreements made?  The biggie for me was overcoming the fear to talk to the boss about matters that affected me.  There were several times over the course of my career when my boss had promised me a bonus for meeting a certain expectation, or covering the cost of my car expenses when I had to go call on potential clients or run other errands for the company, and failed to do it.

Before taking the next step, I made sure I had another alternative for work.  Most often, I had already been approached by a competitor to move to their business.  On occasion, I had made a business plan and arranged a loan to start my own business.

So here’s what I did:  I made an outline of what I wanted to say.  Then I made an appointment to see the boss.  I said a prayer for God’s wisdom, guidance, direction and will.  Then – and this was probably the most difficult part – I took a deep breath, forgot about everything, and just DID IT.  I just walked in, sat down, and started telling the boss my dilemma, in a nice but determined way.

Once that was done, I felt a sense of relief.  The results came – sometimes as I hoped, and sometimes not.  There were times when the boss said they couldn’t meet my expectations, for a variety of reasons.  Other times, they did, in order to keep me, acknowledged as a valuable employee who brought income into their business.

Through the years, whichever way it worked out – whether I stayed, or whether I moved to another company – or whether I did indeed start my own business, I learned from the experience and grew in self-esteem and the ability to communicate better and more easily.

Today, I use this program quite effectively for the decisions I make.  And, the “just doing it” comes almost without thinking it anymore.

Have you ever watched a storm roll in? If you are paying attention you can see the signs. The air temperature starts to change. The color of the sky slowly changes; clouds move in front of what may have been a bright blue warm sky. Sometimes the storms come in slowly and you have plenty of warning to get in out of the weather. Other times, they happen so quickly, you blink and there is a deluge of wind, rain, snow or sleet.

They happen in our lives that way as well. There are times you can see the changes rolling in. You know they are coming. You have time to prepare yourself. Then there are those times when you don’t have that opportunity. Where your life changes instantaneously. Out of the blue. No warning. These are the storms that are harder to weather. They catch us off guard. Out of position. Our first reaction is often to panic. To run and hide. This gives us time to gather our thoughts together. To come up with a plan to weather the storm. There are emergency systems in place for psychical storms; yet even those are not always enough.

When a storm catches you off guard, it doesn’t mean that you will lose everything and be destroyed. It means that you are being given an opportunity to learn to rely on God. To put your belief system and your faith to the test. To grow stronger in His love and in His grace. Sure, it is easy to say, and it is much, much harder to do. Yet, it can be done. It won’t happen in an instant; like a life change can. No, it will take time.

It takes time to rebuild after you have been battered against the rocks. After you have been swept out to sea. It takes time to swim back to shore. It takes time to climb back up to the top of the cliff. We get to choose how we will handle the storms that roll into our life; both expected and unexpected. We get to choose whether we are going to sit down and give up or rest in the Lord and renew our strength, so we can start to rebuild ourselves. It isn’t about not being broken. It doesn’t mean you will be “whole” the way you were before. What it means is that you will be renewed. You will be restored to the place you are meant to be. Which isn’t always the place we think we need to be or should be. We don’t know the path that we are walking. We don’t get to see it fully. From time to time it is moment to moment. We do get to believe that we are being taken care of and loved. We do get to strengthen our faith and trust in God that He will see us through. While we do this, we find that we become stronger again. We find that we are able to take a step. A breath. If you can do that. Take the first one. Then you will find that taking the next one, while difficult is doable. You will see that you CAN do it. The first one is the most difficult.

This doesn’t mean there aren’t going to be a lot of “first” steps. However, when you do the first one, you know you can do it. So, the next time you need to move forward you will find that the strength you need is there. You will grow stronger every time. You will move forward and before you know it. You will be back on the beach or at the top of the hill or on the mountaintop. A storm is an opportunity. You choose what to make of it.

Prayer

Father we thank you for this day. We thank you that we can lean and rely on you when the storms sweep through our lives and carry us away. We thank you that when we don’t feel as if we have the strength, we can trust in you to take care of us. That you will guard us and keep us while we rest and renew in your presence. We thank you for keeping watch over us day and night. That even when we are beaten and battered and feel we can go no farther, You are with us.

We know that we don’t always understand what is happening in our lives or the reasons why. We have faith that You know the reasons. You know the direction we need to go in our lives. That you will keep our feet on the path that we should be walking. We thank you for your love and mercy, for your everlasting love and your strength to get us through both the tough times and the good times.

In Jesus Name we pray,

Amen