Have you ever been in a quandry about what step to take in your life? To stay in school or to leave? To look for a different job because you think your employer’s not treating you right? To continue in a relationship, whether it’s with a “friend” or a “romance?” To stay at your present location or move somewhere else?
Here are some steps that have worked for me – and perhaps they will for you, too!
A T-Sheet.
This is something my mother taught me years ago. I don’t always do it, but when I do, it sure helps to clarify what I should do. Take a piece of paper (yes, an old-fashioned piece of paper), and draw a big “T”. On one side of the “T”, write “pros”; on the other “cons”. Now, write down one of the directions forward you are considering.
Pros and cons of staying in a particular job was always a big one for me, to help determine whether I should stay or seek employment elsewhere, and that’s the example I will use here.
Start asking and answering questions of yourself, in writing.
Do I like the work? Am I being paid fairly for the job I am doing? Is my employer living up to the agreement they made with me? Is there an area for growth? Am I learning? Am I making a living wage? (One that covers my current lifestyle, without my going into debt.) Any other issues – like personality clashes, etc.?
If most of these are positive answers, but there are areas that need improvement, like not being paid enough to make a living, what are some solutions if I decide I like the job and would like to stay as my preferred answer? This is where communication with the boss comes in – and is probably the toughest area in life.
Once a decision about the direction is made, then the action part kicks in.
Fear plays a big factor here. The question is – how to approach your boss for an increase in pay? How to talk to management about meeting agreements made? The biggie for me was overcoming the fear to talk to the boss about matters that affected me. There were several times over the course of my career when my boss had promised me a bonus for meeting a certain expectation, or covering the cost of my car expenses when I had to go call on potential clients or run other errands for the company, and failed to do it.
Before taking the next step, I made sure I had another alternative for work. Most often, I had already been approached by a competitor to move to their business. On occasion, I had made a business plan and arranged a loan to start my own business.
So here’s what I did: I made an outline of what I wanted to say. Then I made an appointment to see the boss. I said a prayer for God’s wisdom, guidance, direction and will. Then – and this was probably the most difficult part – I took a deep breath, forgot about everything, and just DID IT. I just walked in, sat down, and started telling the boss my dilemma, in a nice but determined way.
Once that was done, I felt a sense of relief. The results came – sometimes as I hoped, and sometimes not. There were times when the boss said they couldn’t meet my expectations, for a variety of reasons. Other times, they did, in order to keep me, acknowledged as a valuable employee who brought income into their business.
Through the years, whichever way it worked out – whether I stayed, or whether I moved to another company – or whether I did indeed start my own business, I learned from the experience and grew in self-esteem and the ability to communicate better and more easily.
Today, I use this program quite effectively for the decisions I make. And, the “just doing it” comes almost without thinking it anymore.
