What a wonderful statement! I ran across an envelope that my father had written comments on about his marriage over the years. My mother and father were married in 1943, during World War II. Dad was stationed at the Presidio in San Francisco, and Mom was working in that city as well. They met on a blind date, fell in love and were married. They both worked hard, and raised their family, and went through some rough times and some good times. And lived happily ever after until Dad passed away in 1977. My mother was so lucky to have a man who would feel free to express to her verbally as well as in action, his decided love for her.
On the envelope – a brown one from the War Department which contains their Certificate of Marriage – he wrote a comment about their marriage for most of the years they were married. I’ll let the words he wrote speak for themselves:
1944 – WONDERFUL!
1946 – Super Marvelous!
1947 – Still WONDERFUL!
1949 – Words fail me – it couldn’t be more wonderful!
1950 – What can I say? I’m in love!!!
1951 – More wonderful than EVER!
1952 – Can’t get any more wonderful – but it does!!!
1953 – Beautiful – Beautiful – Wonderful & Marvelous. These words are so inadequate to express my deep love.
1955 – I’m running out of words – but I love it!
1960 – Still most wonderful, wonderful!!!
1961 – One wish – that all men could have such a wonderful wife and such a wonderful marriage!
1964 – How – How can love be so wonderfully satisfactory and lovely!
1966 – More, More and More Wonderful!
1969 – I wish that all people in the world could share my happiness and love.
1970 – More wonderful than I deserve!
1971 – Beautiful love!!!
1972 – Love! Love! Love!
1973 – Running out of space but never out of love. Our marriage is SO beautiful!!!
1974 – I’m in love!
1976 – I love my Betty so deeply and devotedly! She is marvelous!
Dad had contracted cancer several years before his last entry on the envelope, yet he never gave up his positive attitude, loving Mom and his family. It was apparent to my brother and myself throughout our growing up years, and I learned so much from him.
How life has changed since those days of a good marriage because they worked at it, through good times and rough times. Dad had a very rough childhood, raised by a single mom and quitting school at age 14 to go to work on a boat on the lakes near Chicago. He was later mistreated by his stepdad. He had never gone to church, but insisted that we kids went every Sunday with Mom. Near the end of his life, he accepted Christ into his heart. He suffered greatly – they didn’t have hospice in those days, so Mom cared for him until he passed. He never complained, he always encouraged, he sacrificed to keep food and shelter for his family, and he loved. Oh, how he loved. What a role model and an example in so many ways!
Since then, Mom passed into Heaven, so there would be a grand reunion – sharing eternity with the greatest Love of all – our Lord Jesus Christ.
When you mention love, there are two things that generally come to mind: God’s love and romantic love. Love is a word that is often bandied about without much thought. It is something we are taught to say. “I love you.” Often without giving it much thought or even putting emotion behind our automated responses, we say “I love you” – “I love you too”.
It is important to take time to think about and understand not just the concept of love but the depth. God gave His ONLY BEGOTTEN SON because He Loves Us. He wanted to bring us (you and me) back to Him. God gave the ultimate sacrifice to us, for us, out of love.
There are so many articles, sayings, mentions of love – yet the practice of love is falling short. Instead of reaching out, in love, with an open mind and heart; people are standing on the sidewalks watching humanity go by and making judgements. Instead of encouraging resolution and discussions of our differences; people are throwing rotten fruit.
When we look in the news we see riots, dissension, racism and reverse racism, in full bloom. Things that will tear not only a family, but a nation, apart. When we look to the Bible for guidance, we see Paul saying, “I become all things to all people.” He goes to explain why he does this.
1 Corinthians 9:19-23
19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
Does this mean that we revel in our diversity as a means to condemn others? No. It means that we open our hearts and minds to understand how others think so that we can sway them toward Christ. We show them LOVE. We show them compassion. We open a dialogue that allows each person to speak their mind and come to the table. We don’t cast them out because of these things. We don’t force feed them our beliefs.
Storge Love is familial love
It is the love of parents and children. The love of siblings. It is the love shared with those who have a commonality that binds them together. This is brotherly love. It seems to be an easier love than the one we really need to “love thy neighbor as thyself”. This type of love is difficult for multiple reasons. First, we might not like our neighbor. The second is that we might not like ourselves.
Fortunately, learning to love ourselves and our neighbor isn’t dependent on liking anyone. We can ‘love the sinner and hate the sin’. This doesn’t just apply to ‘others;’ it also applies to us. WE are all sinners. We have all sinned. We need learn to love ourselves (the sinner) and hate our actions (the sin). Then we need to take that seemingly huge step – yet it really isn’t that vast – and forgive ourselves for the sin. (Move out of it and on to God’s path.)
We weren’t called into a place of judgement
“Judge not lest you be judged.” “Let him who is without SIN throw the first stone.” Why are these statements even mentioned? I think it is that sometimes it is easy to distance ourselves from what we are and what we were. We accept Christ into our lives and then think that we are without stain. We’ve accepted the call to be washed ‘whiter than snow’. Psalm 51:7-12 Then there is another step, “create in me a CLEAN heart and renew a right spirit within me.”
We are both a physical AND spiritual creation. Our physical nature is the one we fight with. Our spiritual nature is the one we need to learn to lean and rely upon. In other words, being ‘washed’ is something that is done to the physical. We use baptism as a representation of this. We are being ‘reborn’ in a physical way to give our spiritual man a fresh start. This doesn’t mean we will be able to change who we are instantly.
This is God’s love
He has offered us a way to Him. Yet, we still ‘fall short’ along the path. That is why we have the gift of the Holy Spirit. We also have the gift of prayer – that which allows us to go before our Father and ask for guidance. To ask for strength to help us to move forward in our lives, to love those with whom we don’t agree, and to learn to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving means giving up the emotions that are entangling us. We give up how we feel; angry, bitter, resentful, and allow ourselves to move forward.
Sometimes these emotions are what cause us to react negatively in a situation. We lose our cool. We lose control of our feelings. We let them take us over. That is okay, because we aren’t perfect. We will fall short. However, this is an opportunity, to pick ourselves up to learn to react out of love. This isn’t an easy thing. It is much simpler to type the words here than to act on them. It takes lots of practice, trials, failure and opportunities to grow.
Love is the guidepost we need to learn to use
We need to learn to NOT react out of hate or judgement. We need to learn how to NOT criticize someone within the first 30 seconds of meeting them. We need to open our minds and hearts to the possibility of getting to know an incredible person who may be wrapped in something we don’t like or deem unworthy based on how they look. Most of the time, the outside of the book isn’t a reflection of what is on the inside. If we don’t give that a chance then we may miss some great opportunities. Remember, sometimes people come into our lives for a short season to help us to grow.
Sometimes you may be there to plant the seed. Sometimes you may be there to water it. Sometimes you may be there to reap the harvest. How can you plant a seed if you are unwilling to till the soil to see what is beneath? To see if the ground is good or rocky? We weren’t called to hate. We were called to love. “For God So LOVED the world…” What example will you use? The one you see emulated in the media and in social media? Or will you allow yourself to be open to the truth. That not everything we see or hear is what is real.
God called us to love
He has given us a great example of how to love. He has given us reminders of what it is to love. He left us not only His written Word but also the Holy Spirit which dwells in us. He allows us to come to Him in prayer; to seek His guidance. We can cast all our cares on Him. We may not understand what is going on. We may not know where the path leads. We do know Who has laid our path before us. We need to continue to trust in that. We need to continue to have Faith. We need to continue to show love and be that light.
My prayer for you today is to continue to seek God in these troubling times. To open your hearts and minds to be allowed to be used in a way that will help stem the tide. That that destruction happening around us doesn’t define us. It took one person to start a movement to take prayer from the schools. One person can do a lot.
In another couple of days, the celebration of Valentine’s will be upon us. It’s a special day, extolled as a celebration for couples in love – a day their single friends bemoan their ‘alone’ status. Some singles use the time to celebrate as well, however, either alone or with their other single friends.
Having come into existence sometime during the 5th century as a Roman celebration for the coming of Spring, which included fertility rites and pairing of women with men via a lottery, over time, it has morphed into the holiday we know now, making February 14th one of the most common wedding days of the year throughout the world.
Valentines Day is a Celebration of Eros Love or Is It?
Eros – Sensual or Romantic Love. This is the type of love shared between two people. Sexual desire, physical attraction and physical love.
In today’s society, we tend to shy away from the discussion of erotic love. The word erotic is associated with Eros, as it is a product of the word itself. Eros defined: Eros (Ancient Greek: “love” or “desire”) is a concept in ancient Greek philosophy referring to sensual or passionate love, from which the term erotic is derived. Sometimes, the word erotic is used in a negative or worldly connotation, but this doesn’t mean the word is bad. Indeed, Eros is a love to be celebrated. One of the best examples of this type of love can be found in the Song of Solomon, which depicts the celebration of love between a bride and her groom.
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. 3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! 4 Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.
Friends
We rejoice and delight in you[b]; we will praise your love more than wine.
She
How right they are to adore you!
5 Dark am I, yet lovely, daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon.[c] 6 Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I had to neglect. 7 Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday. Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends?
Friends
8 If you do not know, most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds.
He
9 I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses. 10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. 11 We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver.
She
12 While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance. 13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. 14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi.
He
15 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.
She
16 How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.
He
17 The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs.
There is No Shame in Sensual, Physical Love
We are taught to celebrate romantic love. Yet there is an underlining ideal that physical love is shameful and should be hidden. However, as we see in the Song of Solomon, there is no shame in the sensual, physical love shared between spouses. There should be no shame in physical displays of affection; kissing, hand holding, hugging. We need to stop feeling like there is something wrong with these things. We should not withhold our physical affections because of what other people think.
This type of thought and behavior is a lot like the belief that Christians should be poor. The Bible doesn’t tell us we need to be poor; it tells us not to worship money, which is NOT the same thing. We don’t need to withhold our affection. We need to be, under the right circumstances, an example of the proper way to love.
As I shared in my previous post, there are different types of love that God has blessed us to be able to share. They are unique to the type of love we give. We work toward having agape love, the unconditional love of God, so we can be a light that points toward Him. We share Eros love with our spouse that celebrates the love between two people. Philia love is what we share with our best friends and family members. Finally, there is Storge love, shared with everyone else in an empathetic (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another) way. God has blessed us with the ability to pour out our love on others and as we do our tanks continually fill up.
More Than A Lover
How great is it to be filled with an over-flowing love toward our spouse. The life partner God has given us. We must remember it is impossible to be everything to one person (only God can fully complete a person). We need to have friends, family and a life both together yet separate from our partner. We grow stronger by remaining unique individuals who build each other up and strengthen each other. (I think Kahlil Gibran describes this wonderfully in his Two Sides of Love – see below.)
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
Two people are strengthened by the physical love that binds them together. We put our trust in each other; they are our best-friend, our sounding board, our lover, our confidante. They don’t need to share all our hobbies and views. They support us when we are weak. They have our back in times of adversity. They give us wise council – all from a place of love.
When you have a partner who celebrates and delights in the Lord, it is a blessing, as you share not just Eros, the physical love, but agape – the unconditional love. You want the best for that person. When you hear the term that God is love, He isn’t just one type of love, He is all encompassing love. He fully loves us. He wants the best for us. He leads us and guides us with His grace and wisdom. God created Eve for Adam so he wouldn’t be alone. God gave a partner to him so they would share foundational truths, and when they were cast from the Garden of Eden, they still had each other to share the new burdens that were placed on them due to their disobedience. Mark 10:9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Being Single on Valentine’s Day Just Gives You a Chance to Celebrate Loving Yourself
Yet, even though we have set aside this ‘holiday’ for couples, it is important to consider that it has become a celebration of love. Transformed from its beginnings as the spring celebration of fertility and all that came with it, we now mark it as a day to celebrate those we love. This means, if you are single, you should celebrate the love you have for yourself. The love you have for your Creator. You should spoil yourself and know that where you are is where God wants you to be. Being alone doesn’t make you less on this day. You are as special as the couples who are celebrating their love; you are just celebrating in a different way.
We don’t follow the rules of man, we acknowledge them. Even the Bible says to pay Caesar what is due to Caesar and give God what belongs to God. So, while the world may say that the 14th is meant for couples, we can acknowledge and agree that it is a day of love. Celebrate love.
We spend our entire lives trying to find true happiness. We search for it in others. We search for it in things. We search for it in making more money. We tend to not look for it from within. Why don’t we want to search inside of ourselves?
The majority of people, in this day and age, have grown up in some form of “dysfunctional” family or “blended” family. Very few people in my generation survived to adulthood without becoming a child of divorce. Of course, divorce causes its own problems, not only creating broken homes, but children who often feel that the reason a parent leaves is “their” fault. As adults, we understand this is not true. Yet children, no matter what you say to them, still believe they are ultimately the reason. (more…)
According to National Home Education Research Institute, there are over 2.3 million homeschool students in the United State. It appears, according to statistics, to be growing between 2 – 8% each year. It’s also been growing around the world – an indication that parents are looking for better ways to be sure their children are well-educated.
Homeschooling parents sacrifice to be sure their children get a proper education. They do not receive any public funding, saving American taxpayers more than $27 billion, since these students are not in public schools. (more…)
There has been so much controversy over recent events in a couple of States – New York and Virginia, in particular. It is unbelievable to me that anyone could even consider taking the life of a baby – in the womb or after birth. Life is precious. Life is a wonder, and a gift from our loving Father. All one has to do is look at the physiology of a human body to see all the intricacies involved with how it works.
I am pro-life. To say that a person is “pro-choice” is misleading. “Choice” should come before intimacy with another human being. It’s the reason God spelled out in His Word – the Holy Bible – that sex before marriage is wrong. And we see, in our society, the results of following that wrong path for so many years. One parent families. Abortion. Drugs and alcohol abuse. Child abuse. Children removed from homes for many of these reasons, and placed in foster care or group homes to be raised by someone other than parents.
Why has this happened? It’s very simple, in my view. We as a society have gone off the path of righteousness. We have forgotten God. We put ourselves first. We don’t follow the moral code that was set up early on in our nation.
God has made promises about these things. There are many verses in the Bible which speak to these. There are “blessings” and there are “curses.” For many years, our nation has lived under God’s blessings – because we have paid attention to and followed His path for us. Over recent years, (probably since the 60’s with the advent of “free love” – and at the same time, making things like abortion “okay”, living with various partners rather than in a committed relationship called “marriage”, and the so-called “separation of church and state”), our society has moved away from the teachings of the Bible, and toward a hedonistic (self-loving, making oneself a “god”) approach.
To understand how both the blessings and curses can affect a society, just go back in time to the days of the nation of Israel in the Old Testament, where God made it clear what would happen when society follows His way, and when it doesn’t.
An example of blessings:
“And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. … (Deuteronomy 8:1-68)
And an example of curses:
“Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.” (Deuteronomy 28:47-48)
And a warning:
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,…” (Deuteronomy 30:19 )
If we, as a nation, do not repent (turn around and head in the opposite direction), we will experience not blessings, but curses. Please consider sharing the Good News of the Gospel with all you know who have headed down the wrong path – that we are all wonderfully created and loved by God. One person talking to another will sometimes be all it takes to start the change in direction.
SOME ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Abortion’s New Level of Evil Opens Witnessing Opportunity
A 2015 video on YouTube reveals a high-level administrator in Planned Parenthood’s abortion field admitting that abortion procedures are carefully executed to preserve certain organs in the murdered baby.
